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Who Dares Loses |
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says,' I clocked you at�80�miles�per hour,�sir.'
The driver says,�'Gee, officer,�I had�it on cruise control at 60; perhaps�your radar gun needs calibrating. '
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:�'Now don't be silly,�dear�-- you know�that�this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't�you please keep your mouth shut for once !!�?'�
The wife smiles demurely and says,�'Well�dear�you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'�
As the officer makes out the�second ticket�for the�illegal�radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'�
The officer frowns and says,�'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic�$75 fine.'
The driver says,�'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I�took it off when you pulled�me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'�
The wife says,�'Now,�dear,�you know very well that you didn't have�your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'�
And as the police officer is writing out the�third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,
'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'�
The officer looks over at the woman and asks,�'Does your husband always�talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
(I love this part)
'Only when he's been drinking.!!'�
(with thanks to Se�n � h�igeartaigh.)